Alan Cumming Shares a Grim Fact About Cruise Ships

Alan Cumming Shares a Grim Fact About Cruise Ships


-I think sometimes people
forget there are things that are physically
exerting in shows. You have injured yourself
in past performan– You got a concussion onstage? -Oh, that’s right. I did. And, well, I’ve injured myself
a lot, actually. I’m a bit, you know, clumsy. -Does the gentleman that
you’re carrying out of the pool
know how clumsy you are? -Actually, I’m a little
worried about wetness, you know, slippery floors. -Most people are, yeah. -Especially when you’re carrying a young gentleman,
naked, as well. But, no, so, when I was
doing “Cabaret” ages ago, I banged my head on a light. And at the intermission,
I had to go to hospital. And it was so funny, because
I had been doing my neti pot, you know, that thing where
you put liquid up your nose, and it cleans out
all your tubes? But sort of half an hour
after that, you sometimes get that
surfer’s drip. -Yeah. -So, I was onstage,
being all, like, sexy, and, all of a sudden, squirt. Not so sexy. And, so, I sort of
sexually ambled over to the side of the stage
to blow my nose. And then I thought,
“Oh, I’m late.” And I ran back on. It was a new route,
where I was going. And I banged my head
into this thing. And I got more and more woozy. And I remember, like,
at the intermission, I’ve, like, crawled up to
my dressing room, I was lying on the floor, obviously in a state
of, you know, concussion. And the stage manager was like, “Do you think you can
do the second half, Alan?” “No! I have to go to
the hospital. And what was hilarious was —
So, it was a very hot day. And there was a lady in
the audience had fainted, you know, with sort of
heat and excitement. And she had been taken
to hospital. And then what was hilarious
was that I was taken to the same hospital
where she was. And so they said to
me, “There’s a lady next –” And I had these tubes
and the mask, you know, oxygen. My body went into shock. And they came and said,
“There’s a lady next door.” She was a member of
the audience. And she was so upset ’cause
she had been wanting to see you for months and months and
months, and she’s so sad that she missed
the second half of the show. Would you go in and see her?” And I was like,
“I can’t walk right now.” They said, “We’ll wheel you in.” So, like, they said
to her — They go, “You remember how you’ve been
looking forward to seeing Alan Cumming?” She goes, “I know.
I can’t believe it.” And they go, “Well, here he is!”
And they wheeled me in. It was merciless.
-Yeah. -It also — It seems connected. It seems like they’re
saying to her like, “Remember how excited you were? Well, after you left, he died.
He almost died.” But, of course, you went
because you are so sweet. You sail — What do you call — You took a ship
from England here. -A cruise — You don’t cruise.
You don’t cruise. It’s not a cruise.
It’s a sailing. You sail the Atlantic, I think.
Yeah. I sailed the Atlantic.
-And you brought your mother. -I took my mom, yeah,
on the Queen Mary 2. -There’s, like,
a Roaring ’20s-type theme on the ship. -Well, they have these —
It’s so fun. Like, you dress up.
It’s like stepping back in time. And you dress up for dinner. And one night,
there was the Roaring ’20s ball. And then this is — -And did your mom just have
the time of her life? -She loved it.
I dressed up as a gangster. I know.
Isn’t that the cutest thing? -And this is the second time
you’ve done this trip with her? -Yeah, I did it once
a few years ago with her. And I was kind of dreading it. I sort to thought, “Oh, gosh.” You know, being trapped on
a boat with sort of elderly people would be —
You know. It was actually great, because,
you know, I’d quite like it, but when you’re kind of
well-known, if there’s elderly people,
you can just run, and they can’t catch you. -Yeah. Let’s say if, God forbid,
anything happened, like, women and children first,
you’re basically a child. -I’ve never felt sort of
like a twink. But do you know what happened? Someone did get helicoptered
off the boat, because they’d fractured
a thing. And we had to get help before
we left Canadian waters. And I found out,
from the entertainment lady — ’cause I, you know,
did a Q&A on this one — that they have —
‘Cause people regularly die. -Oh, my God.
-Yeah. ‘Cause it’s like,
you know, 2 1/2 days and fairly old people
that are weak. So, they have room in
the hospital bit for seven dead people. -Oh, my God! That — You — As adorable as
this photo was, who is gonna — I have to show this again
so people remember that something nice happens
on this ship of death. -Yeah, but I think
it’s good to know. Think if your relative was
on and did die, they have facilities. -Is there like
a number at the deli so you know how many empty beds? If it hits 7, you’re like,
“Hold on, Grandpa! -Yeah. God. -“Just got to make it
to port now.” -Yeah. “Just hang on till
Southampton.” -Always such a pleasure
to see you. Happy birthday.
Congrats on the show. Alan Cumming, everybody.

61 thoughts on “Alan Cumming Shares a Grim Fact About Cruise Ships

  • January 29, 2019 at 10:03 am
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    💝Supscribe💜

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  • January 29, 2019 at 10:21 am
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    If anyone can blow their nose in a sexy way it would be Alan Cumming, I'm just going to ignore the rest of this story and believe.

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  • January 29, 2019 at 10:23 am
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    Should have told the lady he passed out with excitement at the thought of meeting her.

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  • January 29, 2019 at 10:31 am
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    Alan who?

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  • January 29, 2019 at 10:35 am
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    Love Alan Cummings! And just FYI, my background is in hotel sales and people die all the time in hotels – they just don't tell you about it for obvious reasons.

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  • January 29, 2019 at 10:41 am
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    He’s aging very well. Sweet!

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  • January 29, 2019 at 11:07 am
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    Rollin 20s? Damn cuh

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  • January 29, 2019 at 11:20 am
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    You know that a famous gay guy's 54th birthday party is gonna be off the charts. (Who knows… booze, coke, and possibly GHB?). I'm impressed he's out-and-about the next day.

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  • January 29, 2019 at 12:10 pm
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    I love the cheeky Satan look.

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  • January 29, 2019 at 12:58 pm
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    It would be impossible to be depressed around him. What a bright light!! 💡❤️

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  • January 29, 2019 at 1:43 pm
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    Alan Cumming one of the most Charming men that ever walk the earth I love him so much

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  • January 29, 2019 at 1:51 pm
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    Nice to see Mr. Floop’s doing well.

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  • January 29, 2019 at 1:57 pm
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    He was cleaning all that coke from his nose 👃🏼

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  • January 29, 2019 at 2:21 pm
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    Was he staring in The L word?

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  • January 29, 2019 at 2:38 pm
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    A gem this man is ❤️

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  • January 29, 2019 at 2:40 pm
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    When I worked in travel for several major travel companies, we would always have an office pool regarding the world cruises that we sold. They ranged anywhere from 85 days to 120 days. Most travelers regard this type of cruise has a "last hurrah". The office pool consisted of how many of our passengers would embark the cruise, and how many would survive to debark the cruise. The mortality rate averaged between six and eight.

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  • January 29, 2019 at 2:48 pm
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    I Love Alan Cumming’s character in ‘Plunkett & Macleane’

    Macleane : Still swinging both ways, Rochester?
    Lord Rochester :Jamie… I swing every way . 😉

    And also in the film ‘Titus’

    https://youtu.be/OvZRvKf78yY

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  • January 29, 2019 at 3:30 pm
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    I worked aboard CCL for a few years. I recall one cruise where there were reportedly "No Vacancies" in the morgue. The word around the ship was that a beer cooler (walk in refrigerator) served the overflow crowd.

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  • January 29, 2019 at 3:53 pm
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    Dear Mr Cumming,

    MARRY ME!!

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  • January 29, 2019 at 3:59 pm
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    Was anyone else surprised when he started to talk and he had an accent?

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  • January 29, 2019 at 4:07 pm
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    I wanna go on the QM2 so badly especially if Alan is on board!

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  • January 29, 2019 at 4:45 pm
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    I'm a simple girl with raging hormones, I see Alan therefore I click. What a hot piece of ass with an amazing personality to match!

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  • January 29, 2019 at 5:52 pm
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    😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆

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  • January 29, 2019 at 6:08 pm
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    He’s the most adorable human on Earth!

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  • January 29, 2019 at 6:33 pm
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    Alan gained done weight and it looks really phantastic !!!

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  • January 29, 2019 at 10:25 pm
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    He makes me proud of being bi too

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  • January 30, 2019 at 12:03 am
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    I worked on a cruise ship and dated the nurse who ordered the body bags. We also had a passenger who was terminal who kept booking the same room and stayed on all summer until she passed. Morbid, but true…

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  • January 30, 2019 at 1:45 am
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    He always has the best stories and is such a great guest.

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  • January 30, 2019 at 1:55 am
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    the larger cruise ships all have small morgues.

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  • January 30, 2019 at 2:26 am
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    I'm completely thrown off. He sounds sooooooo different here than he did in like son of the mask

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  • January 30, 2019 at 2:41 am
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    If "Hang on To Southampton" isn't a Mark Knopfler song, it should be.

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  • January 30, 2019 at 4:58 am
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    I don't understand a word of this.

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  • January 30, 2019 at 5:17 am
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    For those of you playing the Home Game: "Nasal Cleanse" is Hollywood for "Coke Binge". Now it all makes sense…

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  • January 30, 2019 at 6:56 am
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    Love him! Cant believe this is the same guy who was on X-Men and The Good Wife, such a great actor!

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  • January 30, 2019 at 4:15 pm
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    I loved Tin Man.

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  • January 30, 2019 at 9:37 pm
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    I forget that he has a craziest accent

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  • January 31, 2019 at 12:20 am
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    He looked so good in that gangster suit.

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  • January 31, 2019 at 4:05 am
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    He's so adorable. I would love to hang with Alan for just one night.

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  • January 31, 2019 at 8:55 pm
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    Cruise ships have morgues! I was just on a Royal Caribbean when someone died, they said they had room in the morgue for 3 bodies.

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  • February 1, 2019 at 2:24 am
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    Is that his real accent?

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  • February 2, 2019 at 1:23 am
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    So sweet he took the trip with his mom!

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  • February 4, 2019 at 12:10 am
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    They should've talked about how Club Cumming in NY is basically every club Stefon ever described.

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  • February 4, 2019 at 3:25 pm
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    Love, love, love Alan Cumming.

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  • February 4, 2019 at 5:17 pm
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    Well almost anyone who cruises would know about this. When I went on my first cruise in 1988 someone died in the captain's receiving line. I pissed off a purser when I asked if he was buried at sea.

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  • February 5, 2019 at 3:43 am
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    my gosh I don't think I've ever heard him in his natural accent before! it's so much nicer than the poncey accent I remember (most recently from Doctor Who).

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  • February 5, 2019 at 6:30 pm
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    His surname kills me

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  • February 6, 2019 at 3:34 am
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    Oh my frikking Lawd! I absolutely LOVE this man!! He was the primary reason I binge-watched "The Good Wife!" Fk me, he's the Bomb-diggity….no matter what he's in!! Sidebar….his real accent turns me on, lol!! 😋😍

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  • February 7, 2019 at 8:20 pm
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    This is the first time I hear him talk with his own accent. It's a testament to his hard work and talent that I never suspected he was Scottish (I thought he was English).

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  • February 8, 2019 at 1:53 am
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    I did not seen him in a while and oh boy, he is the gorgeous he's ever been. So fucking beautiful.

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  • February 10, 2019 at 12:42 pm
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    ive never been on a cruiseship i had no idea about morgues on board but sure that makes sense/ i love this actor but he gave me the creeps in circle of friends

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  • February 11, 2019 at 7:53 pm
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    His 'Twink' comment was overlooked! hahaha, I had a few drinks with him when he was here at one of my towns gay bars a few years ago. He and his boyfriend were so nice and down to earth! Love him!

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  • February 12, 2019 at 7:18 pm
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    I have been a fan of Alan for decades now!!! I love him!!

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  • February 12, 2019 at 7:48 pm
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    Love the beard an he always has such funny stories,

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  • February 13, 2019 at 1:59 pm
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    Work that Scottish zaddy look, Mr. Cumming.

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  • February 18, 2019 at 10:03 pm
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    Haven't heard news of him in ages it seems, as charming as ever, glad to see he's doing well!

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  • February 19, 2019 at 12:32 pm
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    Lovely guy and so talented.

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  • February 19, 2019 at 7:55 pm
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    I love him so much. Funny and talented.

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  • February 20, 2019 at 7:19 am
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    Lol in college after using the neti pot in the dorms I was in the main suite. I sat down in the group to work on rhe community puzzle, I looked down and water fell out of my nose.

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  • March 28, 2019 at 10:24 am
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    floop

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  • July 10, 2019 at 3:44 am
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    Alan Cumming and Lucas Hedges should do a movie together.

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  • October 23, 2019 at 8:27 am
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    We need more people like alan cumming, who doesnt make his sexuality to his main topic, but also doesnt denies that its part of his life. Just like every hetero would do it. Why cant most gay people do that to? Just living life and have fun without pretending anything.

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