(SWOOSH!) (Soothing piano music) So this week, Geoff’s like, “Hey Michael, you gonna do Rage Quit, you’re gonna play this fuckin’ game.” I’m like, “Geoff, it’s for kids.” And he’s like, “I know! This’ll be a kids episode”. So c’mon, kids! Ya lil’ fuckers! Ohh shit Lookit that. Oh, I gotta…okay. How are you gonna have Sandy locked? That’s like a main character. Patrick sucks. Ohhh, I said it. He sucks. Alright, well, go Bob. Go Spongebob! Look at all this customization! Look we have half the items unlocked and I didn’t even do shit! I didn’t do anything! Oh, dude! There you go! We’ll get more wind resistance like this. Or do we – Wait, do we not want…wind resistance? Which is the good one? How the fuck would we move if the wheels were snails? Wouldn’t they be really slow? (sniffing) This’ll be the fuckin’, uh, pickle express! We got the pickles, we got the burger. This doesn’t really doesn’t tie into the food theme at all, but…ya know, we gotta… start this fuckin’ thing at some point. Holy shit. Tearin’ ass. Why would I fuck around with these three? I’ll just go right to here and pull my fuckin’ hair out, right? This is a Nickelodeon game! I mean, you may have picked up on that because it’s Spongebob, but…it’s true! Awww, fuck! Is this like Happy Wheels? God dammit! Holy shit! …Alright, fuck my ass. What are you doing, man? This is…Fuck! It’s like… It’s like Happy Wheels mixed with Bad Piggies Two games I’m fuckin’ amazing at. As you can tell. Don’t do the fuckin’…! Fuck! I’m gonna have to, uh, pro- I’m gonna- Okay. Maybe if I hold ALL the fuckin’… Nope. Lean back. LEAN BACK! There we go! There–AH, FFFFUCK! No, we’re fine. Fuuck! Fuck, okay. We got the hang—NO! NO! NO! Flip it over! FUCK! (grunts) God, there we go. no, I can’t- (growls) I fucking- FUCKING REALLY?! Spongebob, man! Kids love it! Oh my god, front-flip for style. Fuck! FUCK! FUCK! Go back go back go back–god dammit! I, uh, I wouldn’t… I wouldn’t recommend pickles for fuckin’ wheels in the future…or any of this! Just…skip everything. How did I- HOOOOW?! How?! God dammit. I- y’know- Just let the guy catch some jellyfish. I mean really, why are you doing this? HE NEVER EVEN GOT HIS BOATING LICENSE! He may have gotten it. I haven’t watched the show in like eight years. You fucking. Mother. Fucker. HOLY SSSSHIT! GOD DAMN IT! Get over the rock, dude! Get over the fucking rock! GET OVER IT! It’s the first fucking ROCK! LET’S GO! COME OOOON! What’re you doing now, what is this?! You tryin’ to fucking drill through the center of the Earth?! Are you coming out the other side?! JUST GO TO THE RIGHT, MAN! WHAT ARE YOU DOIN’?! Nice n’ slow… Aaand… Aaaand… OH! OH! OH! I’m fucked. Ohh, fuck, here we go G-GOD! I just wanna get over that rock, right, like I’ve–I’ve beaten this game if I can get over the rock, and get the fourth fucking wrench, I’ve beaten the goddamn game! ‘Cause this is fuckin’ HORSESHIT! GET OVER IT! HOOLLYY FUCKIN’ SHIT! Okay, okay, okay! No, NO, NO! FUCK MY ASS!! FUCK IT TO PIECES! Where’s the goddamn lifeguard, right? Where’s Larry the lifeguard during all this bullshit?! He’s nowhere to be found! He’s off bangin’ Sandy! Ain’t nothin’ to fuckin’ see on the beach! ‘Cept my DEAD FUCKIN’ BODY! Covered in BURGERS AND PICKLES! Get the fuckin’ wrench! GET THE FUCKIN’ WRENCH! DAMN IT! Ohhh… FUCKING CRAP! This is- I fucking hate this! I HATE THIS! I’m like a fuckin’ rat, right? I just keep goin’ for the cheese, I keep getting electrocuted, but it ain’t stopping me ’cause I want that FUCKING! CHEESE! GIVE ME THE FUCKING CHEESE!