You Done F**ked Up – Cruise Ship Nightmare & NASA’s Space Suit Screwup | The Daily Show

You Done F**ked Up – Cruise Ship Nightmare & NASA’s Space Suit Screwup | The Daily Show


Everyone out there in the world is trying their hardest. But sometimes people (bleep) up. And when they do, we’ve got
to call them out, because how else
are they gonna learn? So that brings us
to our brand-new segment, You Done (bleep) Up. ♪ ♪ First up, cruise ships. Usually, they’re a fun, easy way
to take a vacation, and maybe have a threesome
with an elderly couple who want to spice up
their marriage. I’ll never… I’ll never
forget you, Helen and Howard. (laughter) But, unfortunately,
for some vacationers last week, their cruise ended in disaster, because Viking Cruises,
you done (bleep) up. TV REPORTER: Norway’s
investigating why a cruise ship carrying
more than 1,300 people set sail despite
storm warnings. The Viking Sky encountered
engine trouble, lost power and issued
a may day call on Saturday. It anchored off
of the Norwegian coast in heavy winds and high waves to avoid drifting on
to the rocks. Hundreds of passengers,
including many Americans, were rescued by helicopter. (metal clanging) Okay, that is insane. And not-not the ship part. The fact that the person
holding the camera is steady while everything else
is flying around. How are you doing that? Everything else is shaking. And, you know,
this is something I’ve noticed you see all the time
in disasters, right? Everything else
will be in chaos, but the person holding
the camera is always perfectly still. It’s almost like
filming a disaster on your phone gives you superpowers. Like, the wind will be
blowing things and shaking. You’re like, “Must go viral!” (laughter) But on a serious note,
though, that-that… just being on that boat
must have been terrifying. I bet even the Somali pirates
were like, “Look at me.
You are the captain now. “You are the captain.
I’m out. I’m out. I can’t do this, huh?” And, like, seriously, that video makes me never want
to go on a boat ever again. But, I-I mean, I’m from Africa, so I’ve been skeptical
about boats from the beginning. Like, they said that cruise
was all-inclusive, too. But enough of the high seas. Let’s go now to outer space. NASA. In the past, they took
a giant leap for mankind, but this week,
when it comes to women, NASA, you done (bleep) up. Apparently gender inequality
knows no bounds, not even in space. NASA’s first all-female
space walk had to be canceled because there weren’t
enough space suits that fit. The crew only has
one medium-sized space suit available at
the International Space Station, this despite the fact that the women’s
2013 astronaut class was 50% female. Seriously? NASA had to cancel
the first all-female space walk because they didn’t pack
enough space suits? How do you screw that up? You know how many astronauts
are on the shuttle. It’s not like you can have
a surprise extra astronaut. Like, “Oh, shit! We only planned
for four astronauts, but then Susan wanted to come.” (laughter) Though-though it would be great if she opened her suitcase
on the ship and found
her husband’s business suit, and she was like, “Wait. “If I’ve got his suit,
then that means… No!” (laughter and applause) So, that was the U.S. But America doesn’t have a
monopoly on screwing things up. Just look at the British
health care system. Yes, you guys
might have universal coverage for all your citizens,
but for one patient, you done (bleep) up. A man has been
mistakenly circumcised while under the care
of Leicester’s Hospitals according to a new report. The patient was meant
to be having a procedure to look inside his bladder
using a thin camera. The error was revealed by
the Clinical Commissioning Group in compiling
so-called “never events” because they should
never happen. Oh, my word. A patient
was accidentally circumcised? That is messed up. Have you ever gone
to the barber, and then they took
a little too much off your hair? Remember how
you freaked out? Yeah? Now imagine if that happened
to your dick, huh? Imagine. Because you can’t wear a hat
on your dick to cover it up. Yeah. You can’t be like, “Sorry,
it’s just so bright out today. The sun gets
in my dick’s eyes. Yeah.” Accidentally circumcised? Now I’m worried
that they switched other charts, like, so someone else
in the hospital went home
with an extra foreskin. A friend was like, “I thought
you were just getting Botox.” It’s like,
“That’s what I thought, too.” (laughter) And it’s not just Britain’s
health service having issues. It’s also one
of their airline companies because, British Airways–
you guys can say it with me– you done (bleep) up. A British Airways flight
headed for Germany mistakenly ended up in Scotland. BA3271 supposed to fly
from London straight over
the English Channel and on to Germany. Instead the plane took off
to the north, flew over most of England before crossing into Scotland
and landing in Edinburgh. The problem? A ground staffer
typed the wrong airport code into the flight plan,
and no one noticed. The pilots assumed that they were supposed to go
to Edinburgh. No, no, no, no, no, no. British Airways
was trying to fly to Germany and flew to Scotland instead? Man, Brexit is screwed. I don’t know how Britain
is gonna leave Europe if they can’t even find their
way out of their own country. Brexit will probably end up
like, “We did it! “We’re out of the EU!
We’re indepen… “No, no. No, wait. Wait.
We’re still in the EU. And now somehow
we’ve also joined the WNBA.” (laughter and applause) You know what the crazy part is? The crazy part is that
Scottish accents are so thick, I bet some passengers
thought they were in Germany. Yeah.
Because if you think about it, Scottish is the German
of English, right? It’s just as rough. They probably got off the plane
like, “I’m in Germany!” And they’re like, “Oh, yeah,
you’re not in Germany.” (speaking
in heavy Scottish accent) “I-I’m sorry, sir. No sprechende deutsch. No…” “Ah, don’t lecture me,
you pig, you. I train your dragon in 3-D.” (speaking
in heavy Scottish accent) Seriously, like,
I can’t believe… (cheering and applause) I can’t believe British Airways landed
in the wrong country. And the worst part
is that everyone on board got accidentally circumcised. That’s all the time we’ve got. Join us next week to find out
who done (bleep) up.

80 thoughts on “You Done F**ked Up – Cruise Ship Nightmare & NASA’s Space Suit Screwup | The Daily Show

  • July 16, 2019 at 5:17 am
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    😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

    Reply
  • July 16, 2019 at 12:45 pm
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    Well a Viking is not scared of a little wind , so don't cruise with a Viking if you can't handle it

    Reply
  • July 16, 2019 at 5:44 pm
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    this is my first time tuning into your show I have to give it to you you are very very talented I love your show you have a calm way of presenting the news gossip I love it thank you and thanks for having Omarosa on cuz I love Omarosa we all love her in my house thank you

    Reply
  • July 16, 2019 at 7:52 pm
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    NASA . . "that's Micky's suit. What the f . . . .k's a female? . . . "

    Reply
  • July 17, 2019 at 8:37 pm
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    In England they don't charge for circumcisions they only take "tips"

    Reply
  • July 17, 2019 at 11:24 pm
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    whatever you do keep away from The Love Boat

    Reply
  • July 19, 2019 at 3:06 am
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    Donald Trump no america aleman ?Hitler 😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😈😈😈😈👺👺👺👺👎👎👎👎

    Reply
  • July 20, 2019 at 4:48 am
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    #fakespace that's why

    Reply
  • July 21, 2019 at 4:45 pm
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    Dude im soo glad your not white.lol thanks for the laugh.

    Reply
  • July 21, 2019 at 4:46 pm
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    Trumps nasa.

    Reply
  • July 22, 2019 at 3:47 am
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    The women's 2013 astronaut class was 50% female?

    Reply
  • July 22, 2019 at 4:48 pm
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    3:00 I think it's because they only had one medium most people were large or small

    Reply
  • July 22, 2019 at 10:02 pm
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    Those 1,007 people who disliked are just jealous of his dimplesss

    Either that or they're Trump supporters

    Reply
  • July 24, 2019 at 4:43 am
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    Airlines fuck up all the time, a few years ago the plane had to go back to the terminal because on the runway they noticed that the plane was only fueled up half 😅 and my parents had 5 days longer vacation last year because they had to fly in something from Germany to repair the plane and accidentally flew in the wrong parts

    Reply
  • July 24, 2019 at 5:17 am
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    Who cares if a space walk is all female. That’s just dumb

    Reply
  • July 26, 2019 at 8:14 am
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    I'll train your dragon in 3D🤣🤣🤣
    You killing us man🤣🤣

    Reply
  • July 27, 2019 at 12:42 am
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    Id rather be circunsized then having a wire up my dick..

    Reply
  • July 27, 2019 at 5:19 am
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    Oh my God this is amazing

    Reply
  • July 27, 2019 at 3:41 pm
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    That captain thought they were a real Viking! What storm? I got this. 😅

    Reply
  • July 28, 2019 at 11:35 am
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    Trevor really suuuuuuucks.
    Can we have a new token?

    Reply
  • July 28, 2019 at 11:35 am
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    Asking for white people who think humor is funny.

    Reply
  • July 28, 2019 at 11:36 am
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    I won't let my child listen to swears and hate speech. Can't wait until you have to earn a check Trevor.

    Reply
  • July 29, 2019 at 8:39 pm
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    I heard, but I am not sure if this is right, that a brother of Donald Trump has been pilot of the BAW flight.. So then, I would not wonder, that he could not find Germany 😂😂😂

    Reply
  • July 31, 2019 at 9:46 am
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    Was trying to get my justice

    Reply
  • July 31, 2019 at 1:53 pm
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    If he's one of those glass-half-full people, the guy who was accidentally circumcised is probably thankful that he wasn't accidentally castrated instead.

    Reply
  • August 1, 2019 at 8:04 am
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    2:07 reminded me of my history class😁😇

    Reply
  • August 3, 2019 at 4:03 pm
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    1:30
    Thats called OIS/Optical Image Stabilization idiot

    Reply
  • August 4, 2019 at 1:03 pm
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    This segmento cracked me up! Trevor is amazing in this

    Reply
  • August 4, 2019 at 7:20 pm
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    The IATA code for Edinburgh is 'EDI'; the code for Dusseldorf is 'DUS'. How the FUK (IATA code for Fukuoka, Japan) do you get that wrong?

    Reply
  • August 6, 2019 at 6:00 am
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    Oh, shit, Trevor's dad's White? Mine is too! (Mom as well). That makes us brothers!

    Reply
  • August 7, 2019 at 11:19 am
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    "I don't know how Britain is going to leave Europe, if they can't find their way out of their own country." Hilarious.

    Reply
  • August 7, 2019 at 1:57 pm
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    Come one Trevor somalis don't speak like that only Nigerians and west africans speak like that

    Reply
  • August 7, 2019 at 2:16 pm
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    Including many Americans 🖼🧥😂😂

    Reply
  • August 7, 2019 at 8:53 pm
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    Hair all the time….cute more than What I want…..lol….

    Reply
  • August 8, 2019 at 5:37 pm
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    All the Americans on the ship "we're gonna die" the Norwegian holding the camera, guys, it's just Wednesday.

    Reply
  • August 8, 2019 at 7:23 pm
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    Whoever doesn’t watch this show: ya done fooked uuup!

    Reply
  • August 8, 2019 at 8:15 pm
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    😂 Why does the News always have to throw in…. "including some Americans" ???

    Reply
  • August 9, 2019 at 6:45 am
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    I was old enough to remember circumcision and I have to say you’re better off having it done as a baby cuz shits fucked up lol

    Reply
  • August 9, 2019 at 2:33 pm
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    Intelligence and cuteness together….Trevor Noah

    Reply
  • August 9, 2019 at 5:39 pm
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    So happy to hear about the blunder from BA !

    Reply
  • August 9, 2019 at 7:00 pm
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    is trevor the guy thats banging jerrys mom from Rick and morty?

    Reply
  • August 11, 2019 at 1:31 am
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    1:24 it's on sorcery, it's Samsung's steady shot.

    Reply
  • August 11, 2019 at 1:48 pm
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    How is the camera so steady?

    Maybe it is a GoPro with active stabilisation

    Reply
  • August 11, 2019 at 4:13 pm
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    Well at least that guy got to enjoy having a foreskin for a while. Fuck you mom! lol ;*D

    Reply
  • August 11, 2019 at 8:57 pm
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    Why did they include the statements "including many Americans". What are we not supposed to care if they're not Americans?🤔

    Reply
  • August 12, 2019 at 6:35 pm
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    They are sponcers for Trumps
    re-election campaign in 2020 it's kind of like how Trump rolls
    🧐🧐🧐🦌🦌🦌😎😎😎

    Reply
  • August 13, 2019 at 4:04 am
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    Please stop bleeping the fucking profanity

    Reply
  • August 13, 2019 at 3:37 pm
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    Nasa should be able to say they totally spaced out that women are generally smaller. Like go all chicks… Weeks later ISS calls "we only have one medium". NASA " umm we forgot differences between sexes. Our bad". I mean average height even muscle distribution is different lol NASA

    Reply
  • August 14, 2019 at 6:27 pm
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    I am from Iran, I watch your program and I love it. Thanks- though I don't get some words. You are really really funny and smart.

    Reply
  • August 15, 2019 at 1:44 am
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    The video is the opposite of people faking an earthquake

    Reply
  • August 15, 2019 at 2:50 am
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    Can you get these stupid ass Epoch News commercials off of here.. ?
    Seriously, if I see that r*tard and his propaganda again my brain is going to puddle in sympathy for the sellout b*tches that made the dam thing

    Reply
  • August 16, 2019 at 8:07 am
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    Get the ludes

    Reply
  • August 16, 2019 at 10:49 pm
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    Yooo..when did censorship get this serious

    Reply
  • August 18, 2019 at 9:56 am
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    This is now my favourite segment change my mind

    Reply
  • August 18, 2019 at 10:47 am
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    No one noticed how at 2:40 the anchor said:"despite the fact that 50% of the womans' class was female"…doesn't take a rocket scientist to see why they done fucked up

    Reply
  • August 19, 2019 at 6:09 pm
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    ok just saying for the nasa one, the suits used on the shuttle are very different than space walk suits, and the space walk suits are not brought up on the shuttle as far as i know, im pretty sure they didnt want to send up more million dollar suits. you cant just refit a suit once they are made its very difficult to change

    Reply
  • August 20, 2019 at 3:12 pm
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    AngryJoe is going to sue you…

    Reply
  • August 23, 2019 at 8:57 am
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    Edin-bruh that's how to pronounce it

    Reply
  • August 23, 2019 at 10:40 am
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    Man you got some nice humour trevor

    Reply
  • August 25, 2019 at 7:21 am
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    wow an entire episode without him saying goddamn!

    Reply
  • August 25, 2019 at 7:28 am
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    Hey everybody – scroll down and read Jayyy Zeee's comment!!!!

    Reply
  • August 27, 2019 at 3:37 am
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    At least they didn’t take his hair

    Reply
  • August 27, 2019 at 3:37 am
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    At least they didn’t take his hair

    Reply
  • August 27, 2019 at 9:38 am
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    Zoom up eye glare hassan minhaj

    Reply
  • August 28, 2019 at 12:33 pm
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    OIS and EIS can help stabilize footage

    Reply
  • August 29, 2019 at 3:43 pm
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    mistakenly circumcised?! 😳😩
    😂🤣😆

    Reply
  • September 1, 2019 at 12:39 am
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    ouch

    Reply
  • September 1, 2019 at 12:25 pm
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    Wait people don't wear pants anymore?

    Reply
  • September 2, 2019 at 7:17 am
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    Can't wait for another one of these segments. 😀

    Reply
  • September 4, 2019 at 3:11 am
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    LoL we only have one small space suit

    Reply
  • September 4, 2019 at 2:36 pm
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    Obviously the camera was other your friendly neighbor spiderman working as Peter Parker for the daily bugle

    Reply
  • September 5, 2019 at 9:51 pm
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    When the camera zoom and he says You done f*ck*d up 😂

    Reply
  • September 11, 2019 at 3:35 am
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    The extra foreskin part at 4:35 Lmaooo 🤣

    Reply
  • September 12, 2019 at 2:55 am
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    The whole who NASA ordeal is not sexist at all it's just plain science. Yes they did have to cancel it a wrong sized suit can inhibit your ability to work outside of the ISS. And they cannot ship any new spacesuits to the iss because the only ship that could do that is a space shuttle. But… the space shuttle program was shut down on july 21, 2011 meaning they have no form of transportation for new suits. Also the space shuttles in particular were costly and high maintenance so servicing 5 at one time and using around half a million dollars per launch, would be to costly for it's budget of 18.69 billion dollar budget. So assuming you're still reading this it isn't nasa you should be mad at, but rather the government for not providing enough money to NASA in general.
    P.S: please stop finding a way to make everything racist or sexist because 90 percent of the time its bullshit.

    Reply
  • September 12, 2019 at 9:00 am
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    It s better to have an unwanted circumsision than a leg removed by accident witch happend quite often, at least he will still be able to use his little frind.

    Reply
  • September 15, 2019 at 4:48 pm
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    hah😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

    Reply
  • September 23, 2019 at 8:02 am
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    Same shit happens in the United States. My mom went in to have one fallopian tube removed and they took out the entire uterus plus the fallopian tube and then they wanted to amputate her foot on top of that good thing my step dad stopped them when they went for the foot!

    Reply
  • September 23, 2019 at 7:30 pm
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    NASA is buggin

    Reply
  • September 27, 2019 at 10:17 am
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    Must go viral 😂😂😂😂😂

    Reply
  • September 30, 2019 at 7:53 am
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    Must go VIRAAAAAALLLLLLLL!!!!!

    Reply

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